January 23, 2006

Liberals at their Thermopylae

In 480 BC, the Greeks were overwhelmed when a Persian Army of 250 000 marched into battle against 7 000 Greek soldiers. Seeing the massacre ahead, Leonidas dismissed the non-Spartan soldiers after a few days of fighting and fought with 300.

What does this have to do with the Liberals?

This battle bares similar resemblance to our election. With barely enough warning, Athenians and Spartans were gathering forces in an attempt to defeat the Persian Navy, where they could fight them, and starve the army to hold down victory. I would say it would be similar to fight a campaign of fear when the opponent is scary. But what if the opponent struck first, making himself less scary, would the entire campaign go awry?

This strategy was adequate, but Xerxes struck first by landing early. While he wasn’t making daily policy announcements, he did catch the Greeks off guard and marched into a narrow pass called Thermopylae, or as it is referred to here, Ontario. King Leonidas of Sparta, of course, dawned in Spartan red, was preparing to hold off this invasion with the most possible force he could.

It gets better. Allies of the Greeks had sided with the Persians, endorsing the attack on their own Greek brethren, Notably DelPhi. Leonidas had to face 250 000 troops with less 300 soldiers. (Herodotus says it was 3.4 million Persians, but I think he got his numbers from Allan Gregg.)

At first, the Spartans held off the Persian onslaught, but then, Ephialtes, a Greek soldier, went and betrayed his own army, giving vital information to Xerxes, allowing him a chance to end the disastrous loss of Persian soldiers. Now that Ephialtes the mole has clearly been labelled as Douchebag of the Millenium, we should get back to the battle.

The Persians learned of a way they could attack the Spartan flank while severely damaging the Spartan resistance, it was a path around Thermopylae, which I will call Quebec. By taking Quebec, the Persians would damage the integrity of the Greek forces in Ontario. Once the damage was done, the Spartans had to fight the 250 000 strong army with all they had left. Their cities would be left defenceless, and then there would be soldiers, with spears, in our cities, in Sparta. (I’m sorry, that one was too easy)

Today is the last day of the battle. We are fighting a cause that will surely be our demise. The Persians will certainly win the battle but it is the bravery with which the Spartan soldiers fought that is most remembered. The Persian army lost 30 000 soldiers at Thermopylae, they were delayed long enough for the Greeks to be able to amass a large enough force to win the war.

Liberal soldiers will march in their ridings, knocking on door after door, getting out the vote. Giving every bit of effort, it is up to us to ensure that in the long term, Canada does not throw away the years of progress it has built. Canada will not throw away the surpluses we have amassed together. Canada will remain strong and continue to move forward. We must make sure that next time, our forces are better organized and we will have the courage and conviction to win every single time.

Today the Liberal soldiers will lose the battle but it is today where we can avert losing the war.

I am now off to battle, to support Greekwoman Eleni Bakopanos in her quest to defeat her Levantine invader Maria Mourani, of course, it’s all a coincidence.

As for King Leonidas, well, ask me about that tomorrow morning!

14 Commentaires:

Anonymous Stephen Harper a dit...

Leonidas was beheaded and crucified by the Persians. I don't suppose you are suggesting I will do the same thing to Paul Martin

1/23/2006 10:46 a.m.  
Blogger James Bowie a dit...

Leonidas has one of the great quotations of all time. I just admire him.

When he was leaving with his Spartan warriors for Thermopylae, his wife asked him what he should do. He said, "Marry well."

He is definately the reason that Xerxes didn't conquer the Greek city states. Let's call him the savior of democracy.

1/23/2006 11:57 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous a dit...

Wow... way to overdramatize things.

Whats happening now is a tired and corrupt party being kicked out of power after 13 years of rule. Nothing more, nothing less. Its not the first time.

1/23/2006 1:44 p.m.  
Blogger Christopher Young a dit...

It's hard to admit you actually lost because you ran the worst campaign in modern history, that you betrayed most of your natural allies (*cough*Sheila*cough*numerous others...), that you governed in such a partisan way that it became shameful (Well, finally, a fourth budget in one year MAY be a good idea), that you had some bad candidates(Hey! Let's ask Cauchon to resign to let space for Lapierre!), that you've been arrogant with almost everyone on the provincial level (From the Pettigrew C'était une soirée de losers to the Benoit Pelletier is a separatist...) and that you've promised what you already promised and did not deliver for thirteen years - and I'm not even mentioning scandals.

Anyway, go on. I can understand it's easier to blame the Chrétienites, the media, the NDP, or whoever else you can find.

1/23/2006 2:32 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous a dit...

Take a look at this election results analysis tool described on this site:

Election Result Tool

1/23/2006 5:29 p.m.  
Blogger Raphael a dit...

C'est étrange, moi j'aurais plutôt comparé la présente campagne au moment où Odoacre, roi des Hérules, a déposé le dernier empereur romain, Romulus Augustule, mettant ainsi fin au règne de l'empire romain. Évidemment, avec la vision classique de décadence romaine, corruption, orgie, etc...

1/23/2006 6:23 p.m.  
Anonymous élie a dit...

L'analogie de Raphaël est meilleure.

Ou bien encore, à la déroute de l'Invincible Armada au large des côtes britanniques. Après cette défaite, l'Espagne a perdu son titre de première puissance européenne. Peut-être que l'Armada libérale coulera pour ne plus jamais réapparaître, ou bien retournera piteusement au port se trouver un nouveau capitaine (McKenna, Ignatieff...).

1/23/2006 6:28 p.m.  
Blogger Adam a dit...

Thermopylae? This is our Salamis. Against the overwhelming power of an arrogant and incompetent force, we've held on and kept fighting to the end.

1/23/2006 7:08 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous a dit...


J'aimerais avoir les commentaires du judicieux Alexandre Plante au sujet de la défaite lamentable de Jacques Saada dans Brossard-La Prairie.


1/24/2006 4:51 p.m.  
Blogger Raphael a dit...

Moi aussi.

Merci beaucoup

1/24/2006 6:44 p.m.  
Blogger Christopher Young a dit...

Les gars - je pense pas que tourner le fer dans la plaie soit nécessaire. Ils ont perdu, vont se regarder dans le miroir, et vont reconstruire leur parti - c'est la seule réponse convenable. C'est déjà assez dure une défaite électorale, ne bavons pas les perdants comme ça - vous l'apprendrez bien vite au prochain référendum, :P.

D'ailleurs, c'est pas comme si le Bloc avait gagné quoi que ce soit non plus, Raphael...

1/25/2006 7:47 p.m.  
Anonymous élie a dit...

While we're at it, I'd like to hear Antonio's take on "the Levantine invader"'s win in Ahuntsic.

1/25/2006 7:51 p.m.  
Blogger Antonio a dit...

I am disappointed Ahuntsic voters chose Maria Mourani, who did not campaign, or propose anything different, but people wanted change, and I accept that.

We now have the opportunity to REALLY change this party. No more coronations. I'll post about it soon

1/26/2006 11:29 p.m.  
Blogger Chuckercanuck a dit...


Good luck with your leadership race. Can't wait to watch it.

I hope you pick someone who gets
Quebec as the last gang. Should be fun.

1/28/2006 2:47 p.m.  

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