The Green Light!
Looks like Chuckercanuck found what saved Rob Anders and the Liberals have hired it. Just a costume switch because we all know whatever saved Rob Anders was wearing buttless chaps.
This is the funniest thing I have read in a while (I am copy pasting)
h/t chuckercanuck
Coming Soon at a Liberal Nomination Meeting Near You
Riding President: I call this meeting to order.voice emerging from the back: Actually, by the power vested in me by the Liberal Party Extraordinairy Measure Act, I am commandeering this nomination meeting.
(gasps from the members and candidate hopefuls for it is the green clad representative of the Green Light committee - charged with applying special techniques to ensure 33% of Liberal candidates are women. The rumours called him Green Light, and other riding executives described him as looking like a spanish inquisitor whose tailor could only get his hands on green velvet. They said he was merciless.)
Green Light: Who are the nominees in this riding? Show yourselves!(three people stand up, two women and a man. the man looks terrified.)
Green Light: Identify yourselves. You! (to the first woman).
Woman #1: Sharon VanDerSnotten - editor of the Chronicle and contributor to Social Justice Quarterly.
Green Light: You! (to the second woman).
Woman #2: Maude deSade. I'm the local chiropractor.
Green Light (when he turns to the man, his face cannot repress his furious loathing): You.
Man: Mayor Davis - four term mayor of the town this riding sits in.
Green Light: Sit down.
Man: I won my last election with 70% of the vote.
Green Light: Sit down now, filth. (The man sits down.)
Green Light: Liberal Members of this great riding, our leader has decreed that this riding is to go to a female candidate. You may only vote on your ballot for these two candidates. All votes for other than these two candidates will be ignored according to the Kennedy technique.
Remember, we're a team and to be a team our leader needs you to cooperate. Thank you.
(With that, Green Light was off to filter the next door riding's nomination where it was rumoured that a testicler was going to try to win the nomination. Green Light rushed despite the freezing rain because he knew the women only ridings would save our democracy the way Kyoto would save humanity.)
This is the funniest thing I have read in a while (I am copy pasting)
h/t chuckercanuck
Coming Soon at a Liberal Nomination Meeting Near You
Riding President: I call this meeting to order.voice emerging from the back: Actually, by the power vested in me by the Liberal Party Extraordinairy Measure Act, I am commandeering this nomination meeting.
(gasps from the members and candidate hopefuls for it is the green clad representative of the Green Light committee - charged with applying special techniques to ensure 33% of Liberal candidates are women. The rumours called him Green Light, and other riding executives described him as looking like a spanish inquisitor whose tailor could only get his hands on green velvet. They said he was merciless.)
Green Light: Who are the nominees in this riding? Show yourselves!(three people stand up, two women and a man. the man looks terrified.)
Green Light: Identify yourselves. You! (to the first woman).
Woman #1: Sharon VanDerSnotten - editor of the Chronicle and contributor to Social Justice Quarterly.
Green Light: You! (to the second woman).
Woman #2: Maude deSade. I'm the local chiropractor.
Green Light (when he turns to the man, his face cannot repress his furious loathing): You.
Man: Mayor Davis - four term mayor of the town this riding sits in.
Green Light: Sit down.
Man: I won my last election with 70% of the vote.
Green Light: Sit down now, filth. (The man sits down.)
Green Light: Liberal Members of this great riding, our leader has decreed that this riding is to go to a female candidate. You may only vote on your ballot for these two candidates. All votes for other than these two candidates will be ignored according to the Kennedy technique.
Remember, we're a team and to be a team our leader needs you to cooperate. Thank you.
(With that, Green Light was off to filter the next door riding's nomination where it was rumoured that a testicler was going to try to win the nomination. Green Light rushed despite the freezing rain because he knew the women only ridings would save our democracy the way Kyoto would save humanity.)
par / by Anthony à / at 5:24 p.m.
31 Commentaires:
Hilarious yet very chilling.
Why? Because this will be the reality in many ridings.
As TDH said:
for example, why someone like this (http://www.rabble.ca/babble/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=7&t=001425&p=), a failed candidate from another party, would ever be considered over a life-long Liberal, is beyond my comprehension
This is the reality on the ground. and the party may potentially internally blow up because of it.
Antonio, while this is a cute little cut n paste, you are clearly infuriated by the idea of more women candidates. What is your problem? it looks to me like you and other former (current?) Ignatieff supporters are out to undermine M. Dion at every turn. Would you care to refresh us on how your beloved Michael would have handled this issue. I am sure you can find it at Anne McLellan's website.
Is that mayor 77 years old white and completely out of touch with the reality that 59% of Liberals and Liberal voters are women and want their voices heard, not marginizied because of their gender by men who make jokes about their body parts at political meetings? Probably.
Like I said, you are never subtle Antonio. I can name the riding you are talking about and that's not what's going to happen.
Yeah 59% of Liberals are women. Even at 50% female candidates it's still an affirmative action program for men. At 33% it's an insult and a travesty of democracy. At 21%, it is probably unconstitutional, it is so discriminatory, if taken to the Supreme court given that women also fund this PArty through their tax dollars.
Give me a break. This is about men, who think they are entitled to something wanting the same rules of the 'old boys club' to apply that would have virtually guarenteed them nominations.
Sorry, we've had enough of that club.
I am for the best person getting the nomination.
Jennifer you know as much as I do the situation here in Quebec where we have asked a LOT of women to run, only to have them turn us down. Dion has also tunred down women which he did not want to run in safe seats, telling them to go run in ridings where they were sure to lose.
However, a lot of high quality male candidates have said yes. There are not a lot winnable ridings to go around, and you know it. Who do we make part of our caucus? and is it worth subverting democracy to do it?
Im surprised nobody laughed at the Rob Anders comment.
Antonio and cat mutant, you aren't actually pretending to believe that the best person has really ever been the one to get the nomination. The one with the most money, back room connections, membership sales, old boy deals, deals with ethnic groups and riding associations and yes Virginia usually penises gets the nominations.
Cat, have you heard what Liberal men say about women at meetings or women in power, or women Mp's or women with opinions? I have and I can tell you I'm not impressed.
How about this one about a female MP. "We say she has sand in her vagina" That's from a male liberal organizer. Actually the one organizing for that male ex mayor Antonio is talking about. Conspiracy, at 59% support, membership and work vs. 25% candidacy call it what you like.
The nickname of the Liberal Party is "the old boys network" That's not for no reason. You could add old white boys club. We need to change that to be relevent to Candaians.
These backroom deals for candidacy, and they have always happened, have led to other problems such as a culture of entitlement, and corruption. There is no doubt about it.
The rules need to change. Those that are complaining, are exactly the ones who probably shouldn't be candidates or Liberal MP's anyways. They aren't what we need to enter the new Millenium as a relevent political Party to all Canadians.
Antonio, who is it you mean by "we"? Ignattieff's organizers who have no business asking anyone to run? I'd turn you down too. Smart women. lmao. Maybe you should leave it to the Leader's people to ask women to run. As far as I'm aware, Linda Julien isn't keeping you posted.
Yeah but women don't want the best candidate possible, right? the women I know think the party should be nominating the best candidate, male or female. That being said, Dion's search for strong women candidates and giving them as much opportunity to win the nomination is not draconian. Antoine remains a bitter Iggy nationite, protecting a turf that was absorbed by the choices of a majority of liberals, even his leader is now a faithful Dioner.
But Fuddy Duddy, obviously now with Denise long in retreat because of Antonie's rabble rousing, imagines itself the Kinsella of the next generation. Stirring the pot, helping to make Stephen Harpor's dream come true... Good for you A-
wow shoshana
we as in the Liberal Party maybe
I am not bitter lol
I accept Dion as my leader but what i will not accept is people telling me I have to get behind an idea because the leader supports it. I didnt work while Chretien was leader, while Martin was leader, and it wouldnt have worked even if Ignatieff was leader.
I will continue to say what is on my mind.
As for the people who say the nation didnt work, two recent polls put the Bloc in the low 30s in Quebec. The main beneficiary? The Conservative Party of Canada.
Shock and Awe!
Oh yeah, if that ex-mayor isn't allowed to run, it won't be because he's a man. He's an entirely inappropriate candidate, in a BLOQ riding that is 47% immigrant with at least 59% female support for the Liberals , most of whom are also under 70 years old.
Like I said Antonio, since when does Linda Julien give you regular updates on female recruitment? How would you know if "we" Liberals are having difficulting recruiting female candidates. As far as I am aware, that is just not true.
one shoshana its called the electoral commission
Two, i know you cant read from evidence of you completely misreading this site before.
three, this post is taken from chuckercanuck, who has no insight on what is going on in Brossard. It was random, and quite funny. I didnt see the coincidence until you pointed it out.
About the sand in the vagina comment, that comment came from Alex. lol. Liberal Organizer? Sure. And I guess I am a Liberal Communications Strategist too right?
come on shoshana stop stretching facts into concocted fairy tales so you could start ranting about them. it's getting old.
S.B.
Since when do you have to be of a demographic to be able to relate to its struggles and hardships? You're trying to accuse Antonio and Ignatieff campaign supporters (who are well aware the campaign is over, btw) of being biased towards different groups, but you're the one who's advocating segregationist tactics. I don't care if my candidate is 20 or 70, male or female, latino or persian. I care whether that person can look me in the eye and tell me straight what they're thinking about the future of the country and the riding they hope to represent. There are more shared experiences than colour and ethnicity and sex, which you seem to think separate and divide us. You speak of the negative drawbacks to backroom advantages and imbalance in the nomination system and then precede to argue that certain individuals should be given a leg up. You would have it that we should be 'divided' even further. I'm sorry, but all of your logic is hypocritical. Antonio's not putting anyone down, you're the one advocating that we parcel off certain demographics and level stereotypes against them. Place is a shared experience. Values are shared traits. And an MP represents a place and its people. And a good MP shares the values of her/his people. That's my only qualification for running. All you have to do is ask yourself if an individual is qualified to represent their constituents well in the federal house. Can s/he take their values and their ideals to Ottawa?
And, both sides in this argument, face it. A lot of candidates have turned us down from all sexes, all races, and all types of backgrounds because the next election is no sure thing. If you want to preach social segregation like S.B. and argue over candidates I will tell you right now that no one's going to sign up as a candidate anywhere. No one wants to be a party of a party that believes certain demographics deserve any kind of special treatment over others.
And if you wanna go after Michael on women in caucus, why don't you go back and count the number of female caucus supporters he had. The number was equal to Dion and more than anyone else. I want you to tell me that Ruby Dhalla, Raymonde Falco, Albina Guarnieri, Maria Minna, and Yasmin Ratansi are sexist. Actually, I want you to tell Ruby Dhalla, Raymonde Falco, Albina Guarnieri, Maria Minna, and Yasmin Ratansi that they're sexist. And, while you're at it, why don't you also mention that they're undermining their leader. I think they'd really appreciate it.
I don' care. Man or woman, just get me someone worth fighting for.
Contorted fairy tales?? It's interesting that you are giving names to my claims. That doesn't really support the contorted fairy tales claim you make Antonio. Am I making things up or am I telling the truth. You are the one backing up my comments. Actually, I should have said Ignatieff organizer. You are right that comment came from a "Liberal" man but he is indead an Ignatieff organizer.
cat mutant come up with the quotes please.
Divisions I make up??? That's funny. Yes it's all my fault that women are under represented in the house and Antonio keeps criticising everything Dion does.
Now you sound like Mike Harris. It was all the single, jewish mother, students fault that we had a deficiet entirely. All their fault. Yep the jewish single mother conspiracy at work again to undermine the Liberal party.
lmao btw use your real name coward!
Pyllic many people have commented that right now we have a guarentee of 80% seats for men.
All and I mean all the people who have voiced opposition to this plan either know nothing about the nomination process and history within the Liberla PArty or are self interested white men.
absolutely all.
There is not one woman who has been invoved in nominations who has spoken out against this new process, not one.
ON Bob the red's thread an 18 year old male seeking nomination someone named Christina conservative and a woman with a foetus as a phot all disagreed with this process.
I asked him if he shouldn't reconsider his opposition given who are the only people agreeing with him.
btw this was democratically decided upon at convention and Dion has laid out this plan since July. The epeople who are opposed to it lost that democratic vote.
sorry Christian Conservative a man, not Christina
Antonio, not too sure where you get your figures, but the Organisation Commission was told yesterday that 100 women have expressed interest in Quebec alone. Were we being lied to?
And another thing, Antonio, I'm a bit surprised that you correct s.b. that Alex Plante (anti-Anglo, anti-woman) is not a Liberal organiser, but you don't deny or decry the crude, sexist 'sand' comment. Which female MP was that levelled at? S.b., if you have the answer feel free to respond.
Sweet christing fuck does anyone have a sense of humour?
You guys are like the PMRC. Can someone get Dee Snider, Frank Zappa, and John Denver?
Would you find a comment like 'MPx has sand under his foreskin' amusing? Why would anyone think that sort of thing is funny? It's crass and indicative of the sort of thing women face when dealing with old boys' clubs. Why is it that certain people think that body part/ animal humour is actually funny and/ or remotely acceptable?
Michael's policy on women was that we would run 25% female candidates. Gee, we already did that, which means he was going to do nothing. Liberals voted against that vision for a renewed Liberal Party quite decisively and democratically.
Yes, it would be funny. Especially if the MP you said it about was Irwin Cotler.
Look, you can't exist in a world of semantic policing. When I get pissed with guys, I call them dicks or pricks. An anatomical insult can be vulgar, sure, but for God's sake let's not string this into an argument about what you see as the political incorrectness of colloquial jargon that's accepted in the mainstream anyway--- by women and men.
For whatever reason, you and SB are trying to salt this field with accusations that everyone has a biased agenda. You need to accept the reality that no one in this discussion is racist, bigoted, or sexist. We all have different visions of what gender equity in a democratic society is and we all have different ideas about how to get to those places.
You can't throw up your arms and panic and scream fire everytime something you charge as sexually demeaning comes up because--- in case you hadn't noticed--- we're all equals. We're all in this together and we're all fair game. So lighten up and stop trying to siphon everyone off into different social groups. And if a guy does actually ever say something genuinely stupid to you, just kick him in the balls.
Sinestra, I don't name names on blogs or even ridings of people I reference. Getting at them personally isn't why I mention things. Sufice to say that I have heard Liberal men, and it is not all Liberal men by any means, say some very, very, very disapointing things about women, especailly women I think are worthy of a great deal more respect and admiration.
The treatment of women especially strong women, is a factor in Liberal politics and in Canadian politics as a whole. Therse men are threatened by a process that might actually adress the inequity in the parties nomination process. Sad but true.
Oh well. It's going to happen. Yes hte 50% female delegates at convention democratically decided that's what we wanted. Given the Conservatives 12% female candidates in the last election we can use this proactive policy and result as a wedge to win the next general election.
This was an insult meant to be demeaning to her as a strong women in politics Andrew. It was not meant to be funny and I haven't heard this man speak about men in politics this way to be honest with you, not even the men he opposed for leader, ever.
Andrew perhaps you should listen when women tell you there is a problem with the way women are being treated in politics instead of just deciding yourself that there isn't a problem.
The Conservatives have decided that we no longer need a Staus of Women Commission to promote gender equity in Canada. Do you agree with them? I don't.
Jennifer
excuse me for not being an expert on the female anatomical system.
Do I think it is insulting to say that a certain person has sand in her vagina? Yes
Do I think it is a sexist insult? no.
Sand in any area of the body would be rather uncomfortable and if indeed I did have a vagina I am certain I would not like to have sand in it.
this is the most fucked up thread ever. you are all sexist or dumb and definitely on crack. please unplug your computers immediately and leave the internet alone.
"Shoshana, your comments create divisions rather than foster unity. You are stretching a story way beyond what it was ever supposed to be."
whoever wrote that, go choke on a dildo. shes mad because someone said something about sand in vaginas. who knew liberal unity meant accepting the universal LOLitude of a sandy vagina? some people find dildo-related choking incidents to be much funnier. surely there is enough room in the liberal tent for all the intelligence displayed on the thread.
MY HEAD HURTS AND I HATE YOU ALL.
Ainge
I love you
Out here in our Alberta riding we have received the 61 page package outlining the Green Light Process.
I can see why the party needs this process to vette candidates.
It will also be helpful in discouraging dilitantes and wannebes.
Not sure why its necessary for some to look for the negative in everything.
The MSM certainly like to find evidence of disunity and if you are
1. looking for publicity,
2. aren't looking at the big picture and
3. don't care about the end result
then second guessing and criticizing every new process and decision makes a lot of sense.
Ainge,
We concede defeat. You win.
People who like scratching their head don't mind sandy vaginas.
Just to clarify:
the dialogue was completely made up. There is no uber-popular mayor running for the Liberals. We all know that if an uber-popular mayor wants to run federally and WIN, he or she must do so as a loyal Harpermaniac!
ps. I love the discussion about sandy vaginas. I don't see it as insulting to point out that someone spent the day doing the splits at the beach.
Post a Comment
<< Home